Diversity insurance for DEI

There’s no way to escape diversity except by returning to a system based on merit and occasional nepotism, which is still better than a system whose only concept of merit is a combo of toxic politics and correctly colored body parts.

By Daniel Greenfield, Frontpage Magazine

Is your home on fire because your local fire department is run by three lesbians named Kirsten and there’s no water because that department is also being run by a diversity hire?

Sorry, maybe you should have bought diversity insurance.

The vital infrastructure of yesterday’s cities used to be run by somebody’s brother-in-law while the vital infrastructure of today’s cities is being run by a professional grievance expert with the right combination of skin color, sex, and sexual appetites and makes that brother-in-law, who at least managed to marry into the right family, look like a genius. That’s bad news for you.

Every town, city and state is just one crisis away from melting down like a Somali ice cream cone.

Your power grid consists of solar panels, wind turbines and other technology that could barely power a medieval grain mill on the best of days roped together with batteries stolen by migrants from defunct Teslas, and a few actual leftover power plants paid for with carbon credits for a turbine in Montana.

The power company has a climate plan, an equity plan, and weekly DEI sessions, but it doesn’t have a plan for what to do when the power goes down.

Your government is run by a few kids who spent their college careers demanding safe spaces and complaining about insensitive Halloween costumes and older drunken politicos waiting to die in office who are scared to death of them.

Instead of planning for an actual disaster, everyone spent the last year arguing about Gaza ceasefire resolutions and making plans for when the sea levels are projected to rise in the 2030s.

No one has been inside their actual offices since the pandemic and the only work government officials have done was in pajamas.

The police have been defunded. The few remaining cops don’t answer calls because they don’t want to be featured on the evening news.

The ERs closed because they were filled with migrants using them in lieu of health insurance. The doctors triage by asking for pronouns. And in the event of a major disaster, relief workers screen for Trump signs and offer handbooks about checking your cishet privilege.

How do you cope with all this? Diversity insurance.

Regular insurance covers natural disasters but diversity insurance protects you against the unnatural disaster behind the natural disasters.

Natural disasters are unpredictable, but DEI disasters are extremely predictable so the one thing you know is that whenever a disaster happens, an army of DEI hires will make it that much worse.

If a firestorm breaks out, the DEI hires will have misplaced all the water. If a hurricane strikes, DEI staffers will insist on handing out relief supplies based on the sexual preferences of the recipients.

If the power goes out, DEI hires will make sure that it never comes on again because that would be bad for the environment.

And if an asteroid is headed for the earth, the DEI hires will issue press releases warning that black people will be hardest hit by the total extinction of the human race.

Someday, top government, corporate and emergency positions will no longer be staffed by sociology majors who got into Harvard by writing about the time racist police officers randomly stopped them while they were going 95 miles an hour and smoking pot in a school zone, but until then, diversity insurance is your best defense against every important position being held by DEI morons.

Morons who hate you and view every job, no matter the title, position or mission statement, as an opportunity to deconstruct the parts of Western civilization that don’t directly benefit them.

Until then, there’s diversity insurance. Diversity insurance will insure you against DEI hires.

When crime waves terrorize your neighborhood, everything is on fire, including the fire department, and the economy craters because the only economics training the people in charge of it have is saying “late stage capitalism, am I right” and rolling their eyes, diversity insurance will be there for you.

Diversity insurance can’t stop DEI, but it can heal some of the damage done by DEI.

You may think that you don’t need diversity insurance because you don’t live in New York, Los Angeles, or Minneapolis, but DEI can strike when you least expect it.

Even if you’re in the reddest town in a red state, and you wouldn’t vote for a woke in a million years, companies, including the ones responsible for your water, power and emergency services, are still hiring college graduates from top schools who only know that everything is racist. Especially you.

And even if your town hasn’t been infested yet, the state and federal level is full of them. So is your insurance company. And the private equity funds that control it. And the union retirement pensions that control the private equity funds.

And the DEI hire politicians that control the union pensions that control the private equity funds that control your insurance companies.

Diversity insurance however doesn’t do DEI hires. Unfortunately diversity insurance also doesn’t exist. Insurance is supposed to protect you against possible disasters, not absolutely certain ones.

And DEI is the most certain disaster since the Titanic decided to match wits with an iceberg. Insuring against diversity has worse risk rates than a house built on a mudslide in the middle of an earthquake that is sliding into the ocean just as a hurricane shows up.

It’s easier to insure an 18-year-old driving a Porsche in Chicago than against DEI.

There’s no such thing as ‘diversity insurance’.

And there’s no way to escape diversity except by returning to a system based on merit and occasional nepotism which is still better than a system whose only concept of merit is a combo of toxic politics and correctly colored body parts.

You may not be interested in DEI, but DEI is interested in you and will destroy you. The only insurance against it is destroying it as thoroughly as a DEI hire can destroy your local fire department, police force or a sub sandwich.

Either you destroy DEI or it will destroy you.

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