The uncomfortable truth about Jewish survival: Melissa Chapman’s fight against assimilation

The timing of Chapman’s message couldn’t be more fitting as the Jewish world approaches Hanukkah, a holiday that embodies the very struggle for Jewish survival.

By Linda Sadacka, Exclusive to World Israel News

When Melissa Chapman, a prominent influencer with over 167,000 followers, took to social media to urge Jews to marry within the faith, she ignited a fierce debate in the online pro-Zionist world. Her statement—that “we’ve lost more Jews to intermarriage than we did in the Holocaust”—provoked both outrage and applause.

While critics accused her of bigotry, many rallied behind her as a courageous advocate for Jewish continuity.

The controversy not only highlighted deep divisions within the Jewish and pro-Israel communities but also underscored the stark double standards society applies to cultural preservation.

For Chapman, this issue is more than theoretical. Her family history underscores the stakes. Her father is a Holocaust survivor, born in a Nazi work camp.

Little is known about the conditions of his birth other than a harrowing family story: while pregnant with him, her grandmother hid between two other women in line to avoid detection by Nazi guards.

The survival of both her father and her grandmother stands as a testament to resilience in the face of unimaginable horror.

“Jewish survival is not just an abstract concept to me—it’s my family’s reality,” Chapman said. “I wouldn’t be here today if my grandmother hadn’t risked her life to protect the next generation. To see that continuity jeopardized through indifference or assimilation is heartbreaking.”

A hypocritical double standard

The backlash Chapman faced is emblematic of a glaring societal double standard. Across the globe, other religious communities not only encourage but expect their members to marry within the faith. In Islam, for instance, it is common practice for non-Muslims to convert to Islam as a prerequisite for marriage, a tradition upheld to preserve religious identity. This practice is widely accepted and even celebrated.

Similarly, cultural preservation within many minority groups—such as Native Americans—goes unquestioned. These communities are lauded for prioritizing their traditions, and rightfully so. Yet, when Chapman made a similar case for Jewish continuity, the response was outrage.

“This isn’t controversial for other groups,” Chapman noted. “But when a Jew advocates for Jewish survival, it’s immediately labeled as exclusionary or offensive. It’s a double standard that reveals society’s deeper discomfort with the idea of Jews preserving their identity.”

Chapman emphasized that this is not about hate or exclusion, but about survival. “Every community has the right to protect its culture and ensure its future. Jews are no different, and we shouldn’t be made to feel like we are.”

A practical initiative to foster connections

Chapman didn’t stop at raising concerns—she took action. Using her platform, she began introducing Jewish singles to one another, fostering opportunities for connection and relationships.

“I realized that if I was going to talk about the importance of Jews marrying Jews, I also needed to create opportunities for it to happen,” she said. “Sometimes, all people need is a little help finding each other.”

Her initiative has already seen success. Inspired by her efforts, Reiss Diamonds, a luxury jeweler, offered to sponsor engagement rings for couples who meet through her platform and decide to get married.

Elisheva from Reiss Diamonds explained her motivation: “I was inspired by Melissa’s initiative to support shidduchim (Jewish matchmaking) and wanted to make it easier for couples by removing barriers. I’m honored to support the unions her efforts create.”

“This is about more than just jewelry,” Chapman said. “It’s a symbol of hope, continuity, and commitment to building a Jewish future. Reiss Diamonds recognized the beauty of what we’re trying to achieve and wanted to support it in a meaningful way.”

A sobering post-October 7 reality

Chapman’s mission took on new urgency after October 7, when Hamas terrorists massacred over 1,200 Israelis and abducted hundreds more. Since then, she has received countless messages from Jews in interfaith marriages, many of whom expressed regret and anguish.

“People have written to me saying they now realize what a mistake they made,” Chapman revealed. “Their non-Jewish spouses either gaslight them about the atrocities or show apathy, failing to grasp the depth of what the Jewish community is experiencing. These messages are heartbreaking but also revealing. They show how crucial shared identity and values are, especially during times of crisis.”

Hanukkah: A message for Jewish survival

The timing of Chapman’s message couldn’t be more fitting as the Jewish world approaches Hanukkah, a holiday that embodies the very struggle for Jewish survival.

Hanukkah isn’t just about oil lasting eight days—it’s about the Maccabees’ unwavering commitment to preserving Jewish identity against overwhelming pressure to assimilate into the dominant Greek culture. It’s a reminder that, throughout history, the Jewish people have faced existential threats not only from physical annihilation but also from cultural erasure.

The miracle of Hanukkah lies not just in the menorah, but in the courage to stand firm against the forces of assimilation and proclaim, unapologetically, that Judaism matters.

Calling out the opposition

And here’s the uncomfortable truth: anyone fighting tooth and nail against Chapman’s message is engaging in a form of racism. Like the Greeks of old, their goal—whether conscious or not—is to decimate Jewish religion, culture, and continuity by shaming those who seek to preserve it.

This isn’t a debate about inclusion or diversity; it’s a battle for the survival of a people who have defied the odds for thousands of years.

To deny Jews the right to advocate for their own survival is to stand on the wrong side of history, just as the Greeks did centuries ago.

For Chapman, the Holocaust is not just a historical event but a personal legacy. Her father’s survival is a miracle that compels her to speak out.

“I think about what my grandmother endured to protect my father, and I ask myself, ‘What are we doing to protect the Jewish future?’” she said.

Chapman’s message is not about rejecting others but about preserving what her family, and countless others, fought so hard to protect.

“This isn’t about equating intermarriage with the Holocaust in terms of atrocity,” she clarified. “It’s about recognizing that we are losing Jews—millions of them—not to violence, but to assimilation. The result is the same: fewer Jews, less Judaism, and a weaker Jewish future.”

An urgent appeal

Chapman’s story is a reminder that preserving identity isn’t an act of division but of strength.

“We’re at a moment where being unapologetically Jewish is revolutionary,” she said. “This isn’t about looking backward—it’s about building a future where Jewish traditions and values aren’t just remembered but celebrated. The world doesn’t respect those who forget who they are.”

“It’s time for us to reclaim our place, not with apologies, but with confidence in our right to exist, thrive, and lead.”

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